Be Nice

I'll tell you a story:

I was once a very unhappy person. I let little things get to me, my mind would constantly churn with all of the perceived wrongs in my life, people drove me crazy. I was always angry.

One day I decided that my stress levels were too high, I was making myself sick. I looked online to see what I could do to calm down. I found some amazing breathing exercises, some things I could do when I felt my blood pressure start to rise. And they worked! So, I started reading more. The funny thing is, I didn't realize I was so angry, I thought it was just stress. I didn't really know they could be the same thing. I was shocked and knew I had to change.

I took a course on anger management and it changed not only my outlook, but it essentially changed my life. Now, I'm not advocating that people do this, I'm just reporting my own personal story; there is nothing I'm preaching here.

Anyway. This world is crazy, but more importantly, nay, MOST importantly, it's finite. I remember this every day when I take those life giving breaths. It is not forever, but I'm thankful to have the ones I do while I do.

So, the thing I'm trying to say is. I've seen this thing I do that I used to love SO much become almost a chore. That is terrible. Every time I see someone I wonder what negative, belittling thing they'll say about me in reviews, how they'll disparage me with their numbers and I don't even want to go out.

This is supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be relaxing, enjoyable and, at least on my part, somewhat meaningful. Because I don't want to believe I do things that aren't meaningful. Especially something as important as sharing this important thing with someone else, but, it's getting harder and harder and I don't know why.

This isn't supposed to be that serious. It isn't supposed to damage good people. It's supposed to bring a little bit of joy and happiness for a short time. In a world full of anger and hatred, it should be an oasis. I don't want people to come see me if all they care about is the physical aspect. If you only care about looks and figures and you have a narrow view of beauty, we aren't a match. Not that I'm not sexy and beautiful, oh god, I am (heh), but I am a person with feelings, I am smart, funny and so enjoyable to be with. If that means nothing, if you only look for the physical release, keep going, I'm not your type.

Let's all be nice. Today may be all we have, don't we want to make it the best we can? I do. I'm going to always want that. And I will always value you, no matter what you look like or what we do together, I promise. I just ask that in return.

Thanks for letting me rant.
Nikki Irish